Of Love and War

It’s the first day of August and I should be at the office but I’m here at home, preparing myself for the remaining two months of our grueling project. Thank God everybody in the office was given a two-day leave (offset, actually) because of the past month’s grisly grind. I had a long weekend that started last Friday. I figured this might be one of the few opportunities to record my state of mind before I face the armies of darkness once again.

It’s not that I dread going to work. I am definitely sure this is what God has placed me here to do right now. However, when I look at it from a human perspective, the odds are just overwhelming. The fact is that we are in trouble. And so I’m reminded a part of this song Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds by Steven Curtis Chapman that goes:

Sometimes I see me: a sailor out on the ocean
So brave and so sure as long as the skies are clear
But when the clouds start to gatherI find my faith turns to fear
But sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the skies are dark and gray
But some things can only be known
Sometimes our faith can only grow
When we can’t see
But sometimes HeComes in the clouds.

I know there will be sacrifice and suffering for two more months and it won’t be my idea of a “dreamjob” but I am driven by the desire to see God’s smile. That alone would make it worth my while. I will not accept defeat.

Another song that I also remember is Go The Distance sung by Michael Bolton. My favorite line goes:

I will search the world, I will face its harms‘Till I find my hero’s welcome waiting in your arms…

Ah yes. All for love, aye? I’ve always known myself to be a person that thinks with his heart (what a paradox, no?). A hopeless romantic, they say. I am a fool for love. I am a fool for Christ.

Every time I hear somebody say that I could be somewhere else with a better job with better pay, I nod outwardly and smile to myself while secret tears form in the eyes of my heart. It’s all for love I whisper to it…for the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

While it is not my intention to glorify my situation or anything like that, there is a strange feeling of completeness when you know that you are doing what God has designed you to do. His plans are always for our Shalom—a deeper peace that means nothing is missing and nothing is broken.

While on the subject of love and God’s plans, I have also turned my thoughts toward my future partner. Err…Hello! Whoever that may be…heheh. (where on earth are you?) Hmmm…I have decided that I won’t put anything incriminating here for now. All I can say is…I'm praying ; )

Cheers!