These Days

For someone who fancies himself a writer, it really is strange to find that I only blog when I want to. It is strange because writers usually have more discipline and are able to churn out a certain number of words a day in order to perfect their craft. Well, these days, I call myself a game developer who can write.

I admit that I have lost that passion that I once had. Maybe because I don’t force myself to write that often or maybe I don’t really see much value in self-expression anymore. It was different back in college when I believed that my words could change the world.

Take for example, this blog. Who reads it? Who cares about what I think or write? I think it is the lack of my participation in an “online community” that has contributed to this indifference.

But as I write this, I feel a fire stirring within me. It has not died and I am somehow reminded why I must write. Maybe it shouldn’t matter right now if others can read my words or not. Others are better at their craft (of writing) but wisdom behind the words is of an ultimately better value. I can hear myself think and I can learn about myself through what I write.
Rick Warren once said that humans are slow learners so we must learn to write down what we have learned. I believe this, too. And so I open my eyes and shake the dust off my mind once more.

Yeah, I'm 28

Looking back ten years ago, I never would have imagined that I'd be where I am today. Yes, I had big dreams of being a big writer looking at my big books along the big racks at National Bookstore. Hehe...well, I guess I still have to turn those dreams into goals 'coz I never put a deadline on them.

Relient K

I just bought Relient K's album MMHMM last week and I admit that I was a little disappointed because there were only 2 songs that I liked in the entire album. It's not that I hated the other songs...but I guess I got caught off guard because I was expecting something else from the group stylistically. Not really singable for me (because they have lots of lyrics and I'm really not good at memorizing them). Anyway, It was still a lot of fun because I was playing the CD the whole week here in the office and their song "Be My Escape" really gets me "pumped up". Yeah! Funny though, I heard it first while I was listening to launchcast on Yahoo!

Breadcrumbs On The Trail

Hmm...blogging at the office again?

Oh well, you can't blame me. The Internet connection is so much better here. I don't blog during office hours anyway. I'm also keeping some officemates company. Haha....Masyado bang defensive?

So what have I been up to? Let's see, Timothy and Titus, a video game for kids that we were working on last year had just gone gold last February.

http://www.whiteknightgames.com/wk_tt_home.html

It's going to hit the stores this April and I'm very thankful to the Lord for the grace He has given to me and to Anino Entertainment for its completion.

Glory to God! It is another testament to His faithfulness in my life and the advancement of God's Kingdom.

On other news...

The Lord has given me a partner! Yes, I grew in love (since I really disagree with the term "falling" into love) with a wonderful and charming woman. Well, I do have the details somewhere else so I'm not going to get into that here. I'll just mention that we've just had our fourth monthsary last March 12...and I am so blessed because of this gift. We do have plans but it's going to take four more years for us to get around shopping for wedding rings.

Of course, I know many will be surprised. Others may say, "Why make plans so soon when you're talking about five years?" Well, why not? Is this not the point of making a committment with somebody you love and cherish? We will make our plans but it is the Lord who directs our steps. And again, the question, "Are you sure?"

My answer: I believe. And faith is being sure of what we hope for and being certain of what we do not see.

So we're here back on trail of this blogger's journey. I'm afraid there are no breadcrumbs leading us to where we were. Let's see where the Spirit leads us.

Windows XP Bliss!

Gulugod baboy in Anilao, Batangas. 

Of Love and War

It’s the first day of August and I should be at the office but I’m here at home, preparing myself for the remaining two months of our grueling project. Thank God everybody in the office was given a two-day leave (offset, actually) because of the past month’s grisly grind. I had a long weekend that started last Friday. I figured this might be one of the few opportunities to record my state of mind before I face the armies of darkness once again.

It’s not that I dread going to work. I am definitely sure this is what God has placed me here to do right now. However, when I look at it from a human perspective, the odds are just overwhelming. The fact is that we are in trouble. And so I’m reminded a part of this song Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds by Steven Curtis Chapman that goes:

Sometimes I see me: a sailor out on the ocean
So brave and so sure as long as the skies are clear
But when the clouds start to gatherI find my faith turns to fear
But sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the skies are dark and gray
But some things can only be known
Sometimes our faith can only grow
When we can’t see
But sometimes HeComes in the clouds.

I know there will be sacrifice and suffering for two more months and it won’t be my idea of a “dreamjob” but I am driven by the desire to see God’s smile. That alone would make it worth my while. I will not accept defeat.

Another song that I also remember is Go The Distance sung by Michael Bolton. My favorite line goes:

I will search the world, I will face its harms‘Till I find my hero’s welcome waiting in your arms…

Ah yes. All for love, aye? I’ve always known myself to be a person that thinks with his heart (what a paradox, no?). A hopeless romantic, they say. I am a fool for love. I am a fool for Christ.

Every time I hear somebody say that I could be somewhere else with a better job with better pay, I nod outwardly and smile to myself while secret tears form in the eyes of my heart. It’s all for love I whisper to it…for the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

While it is not my intention to glorify my situation or anything like that, there is a strange feeling of completeness when you know that you are doing what God has designed you to do. His plans are always for our Shalom—a deeper peace that means nothing is missing and nothing is broken.

While on the subject of love and God’s plans, I have also turned my thoughts toward my future partner. Err…Hello! Whoever that may be…heheh. (where on earth are you?) Hmmm…I have decided that I won’t put anything incriminating here for now. All I can say is…I'm praying ; )

Cheers!

Youngblood : Faith and reason

something that a friend of mine picked up that i want to share :)

By Antonio C. Briza
Inquirer News Service
Philippine Daily Inquirer

FAITH is reasonable, while science, to some extent, is founded on faith. These
are two conclusions I made after pondering the relationship between faith and
science.

It was a "mathematical novel" I read recently that influenced me to undertake
the exercise. The book, titled "Fermat's Enigma," was written by Simon Singh, a
Ph.D. in particle physics at the University of Cambridge. It tells of the epic
quest to solve Fermat's Last Theorem, regarded as the greatest mathematical
problem of all times. I could say that the exercise led me to some rather
startling discoveries.

First, not everything in science has a proof. In fact, the whole of math, an
abstract branch of science, is founded on statements that are so fundamental
that they do not have proofs! These statements, called axioms, are either
self-evidently true or else are assumed to be true.

Persons who espouse the philosophy of scientism accept only assertions that are
supported by scientific proof. For this reason, they reject dogmas of faith.
"Prove it to me!" they demand. "I could prove to you this mathematical theorem,
can you prove to me that dogma in a similar way?"

But their challenge is empty of meaning, for not everything in science has a
proof.

Second, scientific proof always contains at least a tiny element of doubt. Singh
explains: "Scientific theory is merely considered highly likely based on
observation and perception, both of which are fallible and provide only
approximations to the truth. Science is operated according to the judicial
system. A theory is assumed to be true if there is enough evidence to prove it
"beyond all reasonable doubt."

As example, he related scientists' continual search for the basic building
blocks of the universe -- from the atoms of the 19th century up to present
research on quarks. He shows how one theorem could be refined by another or, at
times, completely replaced. Singh then explains that mathematical proofs, on the
other hand, are built on axioms and logic, such that, "if the axioms are correct
and the logic is flawless, then the conclusion will be undeniable."

Knowledge from math then is more stable than that from science. This is because
math, unlike science, is not subject to the level of inaccuracy that comes from
the observation of matter. Instead, knowledge is abstracted from matter.
But knowledge from faith is even more stable than knowledge from math. It comes
neither from observation nor abstraction of matter. It comes directly from God,
who can neither deceive nor be deceived.

Third, math admits it cannot prove everything. The mathematician Kurt Godel has
proven that there are statements (apart from axioms) that math can neither prove
nor disprove.

Now, this is very interesting. If math, the strictest of all branches of
science, admits it cannot prove everything, then it follows that science, to a
greater extent, cannot prove everything. Thus, the foundation of scientism
crumbles!

But even without Godel's discovery, we should have arrived at the same
conclusion. Man does not have a perfect knowledge of himself, even from a
biological point of view. Mapping out the human genome is just the beginning of
an enormous biological puzzle. So could he dare claim that he could explain
everything in the universe?

Finally, a great part of science is founded on faith. In order to prove Fermat's
Last Theorem, Andrew Wiles had to rely on the contributions of many great
mathematicians before him. He did not try to prove again all of their theorems.
Instead, he believed that their theorems were correct. He placed his faith, his
human faith, in them.

Faith is an assent of the will to accept truths from another by virtue of his
authority. Much of science is founded on faith. Many of us, scientists included,
accept Einstein's theory of relativity because of his authority as a physicist
and not because we understand his proof. But if we can put our faith in Einstein
who was mortal and fallible, why can we not place it in God, who is immortal,
infallible and the source of all authority?

It is not my intention to discredit science and math. The world has made
significant progress because of them. But we cannot be deceived into thinking
that they provide the answer to all questions. There are many questions that can
only be answered by God. In fact, He has already answered some of them through
the truths He has revealed.

We have to accept these truths even though we may not completely understand
them. They are not unreasonable; rather, they are beyond reason. They are true
not because we understand them but because they were revealed by God, the
fullness of truth Himself.

Antonio C. Briza, 28, is a computer programmer and a math enthusiast. He is part
of an NGO that trains university students into becoming competent professionals
with firm Christian values.

Return from the Crunch

Another 48 hour crunchtime. Argh. When will I ever learn to avoid those?

Ok, first off, Neil Gaiman’s writer’s forum last Monday hosted by the British council in the Music Museum. I saw a crowd of dreamy faces (except Jessica Zafra’s). A lot of questions that were not even asked because he had to go to a book signing event at Cubao’s Gateway mall.

During the forum, I was squirming in my seat (not because I had to go to the bathroom). I had this question that I wanted to ask Mr. Gaiman. I was curious about what he thought about interactive fiction and about video games as vehicles for storytelling—since this was relevant to the industry I am in. I got up and started to follow the queue for the questions. I just had the question memorized in my head when a British Council “agent” asked me to sit down since they were only allowing 3 people per queue (there was one on each isle). And so, the good boy sat down and waited for their call (although I had no idea how they were going to do that in the first place because they didn’t know my name).

After a gentleman refused to say his name because he was “supposed to be at work”, Neil asked for a show of hands of those who were supposed to be at work or at school. Two thirds of the crowd raised their hands (including me) and Mr. Gaiman was taken aback. For a moment, he felt responsible for the floundering Philippine economy. Yet in his heart, he knew that for a group of dreamers, this is one escape from reality we couldn’t afford to miss.

Before I knew it, the panel said “Last two questions please.” Oh, well. I’ll just have to email him my questions then. It was such a shame, too, because we were all waiting for the intelligent, “literate” questions (not that my question was intelligent in any way—just curious, really and nothing introspective). And only a few held up to our expectations.

I would like to thank my friend Luna and her boyfriend Adrian (whose mom happens to be a part of the British Council) for the inspirational weekend we had with Mr. Gaiman. I learned something new about the craft and it was definitely worth it.

The whole week flew by and ended in a emotionally charged (mostly happy) 48-hour plus work marathon last Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning. Thankfully, our clients were still generous and supportive of our efforts. Although the product itself fell short of my personal expectations, God gave me the peace to get over that failure.

"Why do we fall, son?"

"So we could learn to get up again."

Again His comfort flooded my soul, reminding me that I was more important than any work I did for Him.

That’s all for now. Good night!